It was a robin, probably a female, because her breast was speckled and not orange. I’m not sure what happened to her. I found her fluttering on the pavement in front of my house.
Now when I was a child, I would have scooped her up and taken her home. I would have tried to nurse her back to health, fixed a broken wing, saved her life, somehow. I’m practical, I guess, and certainly no bird rescuer. But the “little kid” that still lingers inside me wanted to console her because that would comfort me.
I know (like adults know these things) that the poor bird was doomed and not something I should be handling. It was hard to watch and do nothing.
Spring is long gone, so there are no baby birds waiting in a nest for her to return. I don’t think robins mate for life, so there was no special someone to worry or search for his wounded love. There was no one but me there.
Standing vigil, I was anxious about the feral cats that prowl my neighborhood. But we were alone. No cats, no birds, not even any other people showed up for the longest while. And when someone finally did approach I scrambled back into my house and watched out the window. Kids. They just walked by and didn’t even notice her lying there, quiet now. I was sure she was dead.
I watched for a moment to be sure, she lay on her side, still. I went to get a paper towel to clean up the pavement. All the while I realize I am harboring a hope that she will not be there when I get back.
I could easily let myself believe that she had recovered and flown away, never that a dog or cat took off with her. But no, she was still there and still dead. I had to steal myself, feeling the cold bony body through the paper towel. I stood there holding her for a moment thinking about the alternatives, bury her like the child in me felt was only right or put her in the dumpster with the refuse.
So, of course, I took my little garden spade and dug a hole in the back yard. There I laid her to rest with a silent eulogy.
This morning when I was taking my morning walk I noticed that the grave was open and her body was gone. The adult in me eyed every dog I met with suspicion. The child in me, forever believing in resurrection, is watching the sky.
©9/2012 Judith A. Sears
Freely Walking by Judith A. Sears
How I marvel at the effortlessness of walking.
Now, that I do not walk with the same ease
as when I was young.
I never thought then how much I would miss the free feelings
of an early morning stroll or an evening spent wandering.
My thoughtless movement from youth on grass
to middle age marching on pavement
to tread mill machines that take me nowhere
landing me back where I started only sore and aching.
I'd as soon dance as walk but fall demons pull me off balance
bringing my knees down to be torn by gravel.
So, that my cautiousness interferes with my progression
jailing the freely part of walking, in fear.
Avoiding fear is sitting alone hands shaking with desire
to go in sun and snow, easily, like a child
who can barely be contained to walking
for want of running unrestrained
a cheetah, liquid flowing through trees, hunting its prey
rather than me, stiff here between the tension of my anxiety
and my fond memory of esplanades on Sunday afternoons
or beaches at sunset.
©2013 Judith A. Sears
A Walk to Eternity
It was over in a flash. I never heard a sound. There was no pain,
no hurt.
One moment I was there and the next I was here. There was now a
divide between me and what was once my reality.
The scene was clear and vivid. It was me laying there my life's
blood slowly escaping my body.
But I was not there. I was in this new place.
I turned and looked around. It was misty and warm the was a scent
of freshness in the air. I turned back to look across the divide an now the
image was dimmer.
I could still see the details. There were others there now
ministering to my body in a vain attempt to save my life.
But it was too late as one by one they reconciled my fate, all
the time the image grew dimmer.
Soon it was gone.
Where was I? I had full presence of my soul but no idea of where
I really was.
What seemed like a path lay before me and I began to walk.
It seemed like hours, but then in the distance something was
there. A man. He looked at me and spoke, "welcome, your journey is near an
end, do not turn back, just a bit further"
Ahead a light shown clearly and I followed it slowly as I had
become weary from my journey.
As I turned a corner suddenly there was a great city in distance,
and before me a gate. A man surrounded by what appeared to be angles stood at the gate.
The man looked with compassion and said "you have arrived
here by your own hand, you may not enter".
I was over taken by an immediate awareness of where I was and at
the same time by the terror of what was about to happen.
I could only utter, "Oh no."
All was silent. Silent for so long. All of my life passed before
my mind's eye.
Then a voice from behind me, "This one is mine".
"He has accepted me".
"I was bruised for his iniquities and I am his sacrifice for
all of his sins". "He is mine and I am his now and forever more".
I turned to see, but the light was so bright I could not make out
any detail, and then a hand with large
scar in the palm reached out take mine, and the voice said "open the gate
that we may enter".
And all the angels said welcome.
----- Judith Sears
Waters Personification by Judith A. Sears
An illustration of Matthew 14:22-33 from the waters point of view.
The waters knew His step
in the instant of contact
the winds knew His prayer
whispered late into the night
the mountain knew His descent
the dawn, about to wake,
could sense Him
the lake blessed each stride
each foots impact
the waters tension held - unbroken
delighted to have been His path
to have seen His way
fearless confidence buoyed
a long way from land
accompanied by the turbulent wind
He went out
to those full of fear
and wonder caught them up
and He dismissed the wind
the restless admiring wind
and all worshipped Him.
The wave-reflected sun rising
illuminated the Son of God
walking brilliant on the water
the humble willing water
truly quenched with adoration.
©2012 Judith A. Sears
Glorious Presence by Judith A. Sears
From Exodus 33:18-23
It was Moses who demanded
“Now show me your glory.”
And God agreed
with conditions.
So I thought… for me
pressed into the cleft
God’s hand covering me
hiding my face
from His expression
unable to see unable to comprehend
too delicate to survive knowing
would it have burned me
blinded me taken my breath away
would I have melted turned to ice or
would I have combusted disintegrated.
Would I have been frightened
or supremely elated - terrified or euphoric
lost to earth, transported
instead, because I am simple,
and easily distracted
I’d focus on what was before me
I’d see the rocky layers of His mountain
flint granite limestone quartz
perhaps sapphires
gold silver diamonds
a mighty construction
declaring the legend
of earth’s formation
was this what He meant
for me and Moses to see.
As relevant to us now
as what we will know in heaven.
Pressed into the cold cleft
children of God
covered with His hand
sheltered in His creation
made warm with His story.
Still it is hard to resist glancing
when he removes his hand
and we see his back as he passes
we are eager to be among those
on whom he will have mercy.
©2/2012 Judith A. Sears
It was Moses who demanded
“Now show me your glory.”
And God agreed
with conditions.
So I thought… for me
pressed into the cleft
God’s hand covering me
hiding my face
from His expression
unable to see unable to comprehend
too delicate to survive knowing
would it have burned me
blinded me taken my breath away
would I have melted turned to ice or
would I have combusted disintegrated.
Would I have been frightened
or supremely elated - terrified or euphoric
lost to earth, transported
instead, because I am simple,
and easily distracted
I’d focus on what was before me
I’d see the rocky layers of His mountain
flint granite limestone quartz
perhaps sapphires
gold silver diamonds
a mighty construction
declaring the legend
of earth’s formation
was this what He meant
for me and Moses to see.
As relevant to us now
as what we will know in heaven.
Pressed into the cold cleft
children of God
covered with His hand
sheltered in His creation
made warm with His story.
Still it is hard to resist glancing
when he removes his hand
and we see his back as he passes
we are eager to be among those
on whom he will have mercy.
©2/2012 Judith A. Sears
Bible Passages that Inspire
Hebrews 13:5-6
5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as all of you have: for he has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
1 Corinthians 1:8-9
8 Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.
Philippians 4:8-9
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as all of you have: for he has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
1 Corinthians 1:8-9
8 Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.
Philippians 4:8-9
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Poems For You
My Prayers
My prayers would be as David's were;
So rich, so tender, so meaningful;
My prayers would be as You and I would be;
So close, so loving, so inseparable. -- E. Webb
Where Am I?
I have sinned and come short of God's glory;
Myself I cannot save;
My redemption is in God's story;
As Christ my savior has risen from the grave. -- E. Webb
My prayers would be as David's were;
So rich, so tender, so meaningful;
My prayers would be as You and I would be;
So close, so loving, so inseparable. -- E. Webb
Where Am I?
I have sinned and come short of God's glory;
Myself I cannot save;
My redemption is in God's story;
As Christ my savior has risen from the grave. -- E. Webb
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